Doctors Find Cure For England Goalie Robert Green Harley Street, London Middlesex England

Stop press! News just in that following Robert Green's goalkeeping blunder that cost England a victory in the opening World Cup game against the United States, Doctor's in Harley Steet have been working around the clock to come up with a cure for the butter-fingered goalie in the hope that it can't happen again.

The weekly press printed frame-by-frame images of Green's error, with the front pages of the News of the World and the Sunday Mirror both reading "Hand of Clod", accompanied by a giant picture of Green. The good news is that Doctors in Harley Street think they've found a cure and are urging Green to fly back to London immediately for treatment. Dr Gripper, whose team developed the treatment, told Stethoscope: "We've come up with a hand cream for Mr Green and we're not sure what to market it as yet, but as it's a cold cream we thought of possibly calling it "Clod Cream." If Green takes up Dr Gripper's offer of treatment - and let's pray he does - we'll be the first to bring you the news.